Unanswered Questions: Gossip Girl Recap - 3/15 Episode

This week something amazing and perplexing occurred on GG: Chuck chuckled.  I reached deep into the Gossip Girl archive that is my mind and came to the conclusion that this has never happened before.  Chuck has never genuinely laughed or smiled in the history of this show.  Smirked? Of course, but this is all new territory for Chuck Bass.  That wasn't the only weird bit of the episode - read on...

• Vanessa has now hooked up with every one of the boys.  A tree grows in Brooklyn?  More like a slut grows in Brooklyn.  That got me thinking about how everyone has basically hooked up with everyone else at this point.  Dan with Serena, Chuck with Blair, almost Chuck with Serena (near kitchen date rape in 1st or 2nd episode), Nate with Blair, Nate with Jenny, Nate with Serena, Nate with Vanessa, almost Jenny with Chuck (near rooftop date rape in 2nd episode...I'm noticing a pattern).  All that's left is Dan and Blair.  Ew.  Would writers test the incest category with Dan and Jenny?  Or maybe throw Rufus into the mix?
• Who keeps that kind of stuff in their fridge?  A giant bowl of whipped cream?  And what was that brown creamy stuff they passed between their mouths?  Caramel?  Vegemite?  Poop?
• Damien reveals that his father really is a druggie and he hates it...so he decides to break the cycle by selling drugs?  Regardless, I think he's still lying because his father is a Belgian embassador.  That kind of job doesn't lend itself to serious drug use.
• What's up with Paul's pastel scarf?  I didn't know the Fred from Scooby Doo look was in.  why do they try to pass someone who is clearly gay off as a viable love interest for Vanessa?  Get a clue, Vanessa, that boy is about 2 Barbara Streisand albums away from being the Grand Marshall of the gay pride parade.
• I just realized...is it weird to have Gossip Girl narrating when no one gets texts/looks at the Gossip Girl website anymore?
• Dan and Vanessa, you are 2 college freshmen who just hooked up for the first time and you brought up marriage.  It didn't cross your mind that was weird?  Even if you just mentioned marriage to say you don't have to be thinking about it, it means you're actually thinking about it.  Future stalker alert.
• Who serves mojitos at a college party?  And who goes all out with a mock-photo booth at a college party?  If this was in a real dorm the most you'd see for decorations and drinks are Christmas lights and hunch punch.  ::sigh:: hunch punch...