Unanswered Questions: Gossip Girl Recap - 12/7 Episode

Yes, I know, it took me a full week to recap this episode, but it was a busy week and that's that.  Since I'm sure you've waited so long to see just what left me scratching my head after last week's episode, I'll jump right in...

• Wolves?  I know they're driving from a country home, but it's Nassau County, NY; a pack of wolves does not seem like a plausible choice of animal road blocks.
• Drama kids are now preppy, closeted skanks?  When did this happen?  In my day, they were just weird.
• Jenny's into dealing drugs now?  Really?  Hopefully this will turn into me asking "Jenny's into taking drugs" in an episode or two.  It would probably be super hard to stay on top of the scheming and be Queen if you're high out of your mind...but really fun for me to watch.
• Did that woman at the co-op meeting really think it was appropriate to provide the details of her husband's infidelity while she was still shaking Rufus' hand upon their first meeting?  Slow your roll and wait for the appetizers to arrive, lady.
• What was up with the hats this episode?  Tripp and Maureen were sporting some crazy chapeaux.  I wasn't aware this getaway to Nassau county required Trip to hop in a time capsule and return to his days as a Newsie in the 1920s.
• How many cabs did Serena think there would be in the middle of nowhere? 
• Who else was hoping that when Serena pulled The Old Man and the Sea off the bookshelf it would open a secret passageway, not Nate's 3 year old pot stash?
• "I'm Jackie and you're Marilyn": did the worlds of GG and Legally Blonde just collide?
• Chuck's Mom...WTF?
• And the biggest question of all...MARCH?!  Why are they making us wait that long for new episodes?!

See if you contain your sadness for the next couple months because I'll be back in Springtime with more Unanswered Questions.