Unanswered Questions: Gossip Girl Recap - 4/12 Episode

I apologize in advance because I admit my heart is not fully in this recap.  All I can think of is tonight's return of Glee, which I believe has replaced Gossip Girl as the greatest show of all time.  We may be changing up the recaps soon, kids.  In the meantime, I'll recount only the most confusing bits of last night's episode:

• Was that a folky Russian accordian version of The Black Eyed Peas' "I Got A Feeling" during the balloon game?  Somebody please confirm. 
• Is Eric's crush for real?  First of all, don't go to a wedding you weren't invited to.  And don't bring a date.  This second rule is twofold: that's two extra very pricey heads to feed and don't bring your beard when you try to mac on someone else.
• What would have been the big deal of Serena running five whole steps into the ballroom to tell Nate she was leaving?  Those 30 seconds aint gonna make or break your flight.
• Is it weird that I found Vanya attractive out of uniform?

Here's the best part: while I suspected Vanya was not a real Pole, turns out he's a very American Jew named Aaron Schwartz.  I know this because I stalked looked him up on IMDB after determining that, yes, I did find him attractive without his doorman attire.  Does his name sound familiar to you?  Probably not, so let me tell you where you may have seen him.  That is the formerly tubby star of HEAVYWEIGHTS.  He played the main character, Gerry.  He was also in Mighty Ducks.  That just blew my mind.  With that, I leave you with the following quote:

"Attention campers, lunch has been cancelled due to lack of hustle.  Deal with it."

-Tony Perkis

Death Becomes Her

Saturday was a great day, start to finish.  Ess-a-Bagel was a smart way to start the day and fill up on carbs before heading to The Village Pourhouse for some day drinking while watching the Masters.  Golf may not be the typical sport companion for day drinking, but we seemed to make it work.  By the time the golf ended, we needed to hurry home to get ready for dinner and our night out.  I was only a tad upset about being denied my nap, but I managed to rally even though I no longer consider myself a spring chicken. 

The dinner hot spot of choice was Death and Company (the menu is a tad outdated on the website).  The name derives from the prohibition era mindset that to consume alcohol was to live a life shadowed by death.  Here, bartending is an art.  They are master mixologists and they have put some blood, sweat, and tears into determining the best combinations possible.  When a drink is stirred, they don't just swish around a swizzle stick.  They meticulously count out each one of the 40-50 rotations.  The tiny restaurant does not accept reservations but after slipping some cash to the bouncer, our names magically moved up the list rather quickly.  Well worth it.  The cocktails were wonderful, and the food didn't disappoint, either.

• Tuna Tartar (with avocado and homemade kettle chips)
• Lobster Brioche Rolls (with a jicama salad)
• 2 orders of crispy pork belly (served with cranberry beans and pomegranate)
• Truffle Mac & Cheese
• Pulled Pork Sliders (with a potato and apple salad)

Sadly, I only managed to take two pictures before I was told to turn my flash off, but trust me when I say that both taste and presentation for all dishes was well done.  My favorite plates were the Pork Belly (the explosion of the pomegranate was a nice contrast to the creamy beans...plus I love pork belly - it's basically an excuse to eat pure fat in a nice restaurant) and the Truffle Mac.  I need to buy myself some truffle oil.  It makes everything just taste fancier.  I could probably pour it over Cheerios and feel like I'm in a gourmet restaurant.  I think it has the same effect on food that English accents have on people.  I automatically think Englishmen are intelligent, cultured, and hot - even when they have awful teeth.

After dinner, we tried (and failed) to hit up 2 very crowded bars (Whiskey Town and PDT) before meeting some friends at Dempsey's.  It was worth going to that bar just to watch a couple NYU students make fools of themselves.  Oh college...

A Royally Good Time

Even before this weekend rolled around, I knew it would be a biggie.  One of Dave's besties from college, Carter, was in town and we were determined to show him a good time beginning the moment his plane landed on Friday.  After a quick burger dinner, we headed to The Royalton Hotel for drinks.  I wish I took pictures of this place.  Thankfully, the website took care of that, so I don't feel so bad about neglecting my photo taking responsibilities.   The crowd wasn't great, but the chic atmosphere cancelled that out and made it a great place to start the night.  I could see it as a nice place to bring the 'rents when they visit - great ambiance without having them trek downtown.  The drinks are not cheap; therefore, I offer two tips:

1. Go there for your first drink or two on the way downtown.  My $15 cocktail was super delicious (jalapeno infused tequila with cucumber and a splash of pineapple juice), but there are only so many of those you can drink before your wallet starts scolding you.
2. If you're in the mood for champagne, order 2 half bottles.  A full bottle of Veuve Clicquot was $145, but a half bottle is only $42.  Now, I'm no John Nash, but I did well enough in Algebra to know that ordering 2 half bottles is much more reasonable than one full bottle.  Plus, anything mini is automatically cute.  We felt brilliant for discovering this anomaly on the menu and even more so when the waitress told us only one person before us was smart enough to do the same thing.

From there, it was off to the east village for drinks and games at Ace Bar.  Carter decided Bear Fights were the obvious next step.  Don't worry, I didn't know what that meant either.  I now know that it is a Jager Bomb immediately followed by an Irish Car Bomb.  I took them like a champ and am confident it improved my Skee Ball skills.  Back to my apt for some pizza to soak up the alcohol and in bed at the very reasonable hour of 4 AM.

Skee Ball Action Shot

Unanswered Questions: Gossip Girl Recap - 4/5 Episode

Yes, my weekly GG recap is a tad late this go 'round, but I was busy; sorry.  Something tells me nobody produced an intense and pungeant sweat awaiting this, but I felt like I should [sorta] explain myself in case this happens to be the highlight of your week.  On the other hand, while I would love that I would be a part of what you consider to be the best piece of your week, I find it a tad sad if this is all you have to live for.  As Bethany on Real Housewives of New York would say "you need to get a hobby."  Speaking of hobbies, this week on GG everyone seemed to have the same hobby of birthday games and destruction of frenemies (how's that for a segue!?).  I'll keep this one brief and just discuss what I found to be the question marked bits of this week's episode...

• Why is Dorota waiting on Serena like she's her employer? Blair is your Queen - don't forget your loyalties!
• What was going on with Blair's coat, which was nothing if not an homage to shoulder pads?  Forget fashion, that was downright dangerous.  Somebody could've gotten their eye poked out.
• Was Nate really supposed to believe that Serena has a garter for her cell phone?  She may have a trashy past, but that's still a stretch.
• Thank you, writers for explaining Eric's absence...but why in the world would he be in Japan?  Alone?  I doubt he was checking out colleges...unless that's what the kids are calling bathouses these days.
• Now that her PR career is kaput, she is no longer seeking out her absent father, and she kicked the married politician to the curb, what does S do all day (when she's not planning elaborate b-day parties)?  I love me some free time, but I think even I would get bored of doing nothing but spend money.

Until next week...

For the Person Who Has Everything

I think I can say I've seen it all.  Last night, I left work at a reasonable hour due to a fire that caused us to evacuate the building at 7:30.  We still have not regained lights, AC, or full elevator use (but don't worry, we all came to the office like the good little worker bees we are).  Anyhoo, since I left work early, I headed to Macy's for some towels (not sure why I feel the need to tell you that).  When I got home, I further unwound by watching some mindless TV (90210 - embarrassing to admit, but those hottie patotty boys walk around shirtless, so I like it). 

After that full day (thank you again, evacuation), it was time for bed, but I was still feeling the stress of the workday weighing on my shoulders.  And then I saw it.  A commercial for the Chia Obama.  Did you know Chia Pets still existed?!  I didn't.  And I certainly didn't think I would see one featuring greenery growing out of our president's normally shiny bald head.  Maybe it was the old-school style infomercial that got me, but somehow this calmed me down after a very stressful day.  I'm not saying I'm adding it to my b-day wish list (exactly 2 months away to the big 2-5, hint hint), but it made me laugh.  Ch-ch-ch-chia! 

Decision: Unlikely Spots Make for Good Burger Eating

How fast can I eat a burger?  My speed will astonish and amaze you.  If I am hungry and the burger is good, I am a BEAST.  I'm pretty sure I inhaled my Burger Joint masterpiece in less than 2 minutes.

Walk into one of the swankiest hotels in New York and the last thing you'd expect to find is a dive, but that's exactly what you'll get when you walk through the nearly hidden door in Le Parker Meridian into The Burger Joint.  After scarfing down our burgers, we spent the remaining 5 minutes playing the "find the coolest famous person signature on the walls" game.  My latest goal is to become a celebrity so I will finally be allowed to make my mark on the walls.

It's not like the menu is big (choice of burger, cheeseburger, fries, milkshake, box wine), but be prepared to tell them exactly how you want it (how it should be cooked and topping choices of lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, ketchup, mustard, mayo) the minute you step up to the register or else face the wrath of angry customers waiting in line behind you in the tiny box of a restaurant (maybe 150 square feet).   The no-frills menu is written in marker on cardboard for reference.

The burgers are not in the fashion of JG Melon's or PJ Clarke's.  But that doesn't make them bad.  Much like the line drawn between Chicago and New York style pizza, there are two very distinct kinds of burgers.  Burger Joint falls into the greasy (in a good way) category à la Shake Shack or In-N-Out.  When I asked Dave if he thought this was better than Shake Shack, I learned he had never even been to the famed Madison Square Park burger stop.  Now I know what I'll be doing next weekend!

Somehow, greasy burgers and fries was a super delicious and perfect way to end our cultured Broadway Musical-filled Sunday.  Loved the burger.  Still think it may come in a hair below Shake Shack (I love their special sauce but they lose points for their mass expansion).  If you haven't been yet, make sure to give it a shot so you can weigh in on the great burger debate.

Democrats Like the WNBA - Go Fig

While perusing some of my fave blogs (other than my own, obvi), I came across this little gem, which maps party identification against likelihood to vote. 

Now when people ask me why I am a Republican, I won't go on about such nonsense as healthcare; I'll explain that I lean conservative because I love college football and pro bull riding.  That should clear things up.