3 on Thursday

I'm actually rather impressed with myself for keeping up with the blogging this week since the last two days have been long and draining.  I've been in a two-day meeting that lasted from 8:30-5:30 each day, which means I am very happy Friday is just around the corner.  Although I've been locked in a conference room for two straight days, there have still been moments of happiness:

Last Thursday was our company holiday party and as is to be expected when you throw 800 overworked twenty-thirty-somethings onto a dance floor with four hours of top shelf open bar, revelry ensued.  Thankfully, one of our caring reps thought ahead and brought us a massive McDonald's breakfast Friday morning to curb the hangover.  It sorta helped.  

I just made my first Bendel's purchase.  This is a momentous occasion for a New York gal.  I feel as though I have arrived.  That striped bag is a badge of honor that I would carry around every day if it wasn't weird.  Inside is a gray chain link purse that I absolutely adore.  Ok now that I've indulged my shallow values, let's move on.

I started reading Dianna Agron's blog simply because I am a Gleek and eat up anything related to the show.  I was pleasantly surprised to find that her posts were insightful, creative, and inspiring.  Not only is Dianna Agron a gorgeous, talented actress and singer, it seems she is also a very good writer and knows just where and when to flex her artistic muscles.  I would be jealous if I didn't want to be her next best friend.  I was quite satisfied with her tumblr since I imagine she must be rather busy, but now, Ms. Agron has summoned the energy, creative prowess, and friends to build a site called You, Me & Charlie.  This site is an outlet of inspiration.  It touches on everything from music to movies to writing to art - all forms of art.  I can't thank Dianna Agron and her band of contributors enough for bringing this lovely site to my humble corner of the web.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 5/24/11 Episode

I'm so sad there's no more Glee for the season but before we start crying, let's get into the Diva-meter of the season finale:

• Rachel knows everything there is to know about Broadway - there's no way she would buy Cats tickets. -1
• Quinn takes quite the whack at Rachel during the pillow fight +1
• Finn and Rachel's date takes them from Central Park to Midtown West to the West Village.  That's barely do-able if given all day.  -1
• Quinn flips out and it's awesome - nice acting chops.  She's most concerned that she's the popular girls but sadly even Zises hooks up and she's alone.  +1
• Song Recap: 
• The main two non-original songs of the episode ("I Love New York" and "For Good") fit perfectly. +2
• The original songs also worked (I'm lumping the Matthew Morrison song in this category although technically it was a plug for his new album). +2
• Um Vocal Adrenaline is not supposed to do an original song; that's New Directions' thing.  -1
• Finn seems a bit over-confident about his kissing abilities.  -1
• Santana goes on a Spanish rant!  +2
• At the end of the previous episode, Quinn cryptically insinuated that she had big plans for New York.  I thought there was going to be some major glee club sabotage going down but all she did was cut her hair.  -1
• +1 for all the cute couple-ness: Blaine gazing at Kurt with his chin in his hand, Kurt and Rachel bonding over New York, Mercedes and Sam's budding courtship, Santana and Brittany's peaceful come-to-terms moment, and finally, Rachel finally realizing that it's stupid not to date when she doesn't graduate for another year.
• I would totally see a "Pip Pip Hooray": a Broadway Musical about Pippa Middleton.  +1

Total: 5 --> Though totally absent of great Sue Sylvester lines (thankfully she satisfied us in the previous episode), this episode was still a very pleasant way to bring the season together and set us up for Season 3.  Though it's not looking good for Jesse St. James - the biggest diva of them all - the glee kids diva'd it out all over NYC.  I'm going with Elton John for this episode's diva counterpart.  He does the ballads and the poppy stuff and you always feel good and calm after listening.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 5/17/11 Episode

Since I have not one but two episodes to recap, I'll get to the point:

• Though harsh, Jesse St. James pointed out what everyone's been thinking: why does Finn get all the big solos/duets when he's clearly not the best singer. +1
• Howard Bamboo is back! +1 because I've missed him.  Another +1 for his nickname Panda Express.
• Rachel Berry gold star along with a monologue about how she now has bangs: +1
• And now we get to the more serious part of the episode: Sue's Downs Syndrome inflicted sister passes away.  Between Kurt and Finn coming together as brothers to put together the funeral service to Sue's experience through the stages of grief, it was very poignant.  I cried.  A lot.  +2  I'm also giving it an additional +1 for slipping in jokes and making it work: "I'm allergic to pansies, and I don't mean that as a swipe at either of you" and "I wouldn't dare lean on you.  There's so much grease in your hair I'd probably slide right off."
• Overall, I'm giving song choice in this episode a -3.  I'm not a fan of the straight audition songs.  When songs are incorporated into the episode this way, they don't really allow for the music to further the plot.  Great, you've all got awesome voices but those songs meant nothing in their context.  The only reason I didn't further deduct points was because Rachel's audition piece and the Willy Wonka song sort of worked.

Total: 3 --> So maybe it wasn't the best episode (though Jesse St. James brough.t a whole lot of diva to the table with his stories of Vocal Adrenaline's Nationals prep and his brother's whip it addiction).  I'm thinking this episode is the diva equivalent of Chris Brown.  Right now - as with the time following the Rhianna incident - you're not so thrilled with it.  It kind of bothered you.  BUT you can tell that it can redeem itself.  After all, didn't Chris Brown just rock out a top 10 single?

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 5/10/11 Episode

I wish my prom was as good as Glee prom.  At 25, I am jealous of a fake high school prom.  Lame?  Moving on to the recap…

•          +1 to Blaine and Mr. Hummel for being upfront and realistic with Kurt while discussing his prom outfit.  I respect that Kurt is now out and proud, but it does seem like he’s trying to create unnecessary dramz.
•         Instead of jumping at the opportunity to work the prom, Will says the glee club needs to prep for Nationals – they still have a ton of taffy to sell.  -1 because he still hasn’t realized that selling taffy will never earn enough money to cover 12 kids’ travel and accommodations.
•         Sue tells Will he should apologize to America for “Run Joey Run” +1.  +1 again for Rachel requesting to sing it at Prom.      
• I’ve said it plenty of times in these recaps, but the worst episodes are the ones with forced themes.  +1 for having Sam echo our sentiments when he sees Will scroll “prom” on the board and fears for an assignment of prom-themed songs.
•         Kurt asks Blaine to prom by addressing him as Blaine Warbler, like Warbler is his last name.  +1
•       Karofsky on Bully Whip patrol: “No burning Liberace mannequins, over.” +1 for that and his touching apology to Kurt/tortured soul
•        Santana plans to move to a lesbian colony or Tribeca when they get to New York.  Tribeca?  -1 because she would definitely move to Chelsea or Hell’s Kitchen, duh.   
•         +2 for songs.  All were good and fitting.  Bravo. 

Total: 6 --> This episode was the diva equivalent of Barbara Streisand because she epitomizes the sad underdog.  Between the Carrie-esque prom queen scene with Kurt, Karofsky's tearful apology, and all the lovelorn folks of this episode, there was a lot of sad in this episode.  Only Barbara (and Glee) can make those tragic underdogs so endearing.   

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 5/3/11 Episode

I was a little leery of a Fleetwood Mac episode.  I was sorely disappointed by the Britney episode, but this was much better than I expected.

• Though I thought the songs actually fit well (much better than other themed episodes), I thought it was a little odd to use Fleetwood Mac when "Landslide" was just featured, like, two episodes ago.  -1 for lack of forethought, but +1 because they acknowledged it.  Wash.
• +2 for "Fondue for Two", mostly because of Brittany's logical conclusion that Lord Tubbington can eat scalding hot cheese because he's on Atkins.  
• Sue pays for her mocha powder with Euros: +1.
• I'm glad Quinn is keeping Sam's secret, but after cheating on two boyfriends in a row, why does she think she deserves trust, no questions asked?  +1 because that's exactly how high school divas think.
• This offer to be in April Rhodes' show should not be tearing up Shu.  -1.  Can't he just go to Broadway after he takes New Directions to nationals?  Plus, aren't Nationals in NYC...you know, where Broadway is?
• There were two close-up shots of tots in this episode.  +1 to the writers for sneaking in this reference to a past episode.

Total: 4--> This week's episode is the diva equivalent of Lauren Hill.  I'm pretty sure there was some major dramz within the Fugees, but once she/they start singing, it seems to fade away because the music is full of such good emotion.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 4/26/11 Episode

Last week's Glee was an hour and a half which means an extra 30 minutes of awesomeness.  So much good stuff goin on in the latest episode so let's get to it:

• Great line off the bat from Santana: "I hear Rachel's got a bit of a schnoz.  I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her." That in addition to her diatribe on Finn's custard filled nipples earns a +1.
• I'm glad Emma accepts her ginger heritage, especially because it means we get to hear all sorts of interesting ginger facts like they "smell like copper" and "can get a sunburn indoors at night." +1
• Quinn is SO happy to be helping Rachel with her nose job "I'm surprised more girls haven't asked me.  My nose is awesome!"  Bitchy, self-involved Quinn is the best!  +1
• Karofsky: "I was just seeing what jeans he was wearing" Santana: "Like that's any less gay."  Very true, Santana: +1
• Auntie 'Tana tells Karofsky she's not ready to "start eating jicama or get a flattop...maybe in junior college."  +1 not so much for the line, but because she already knows she's only going to junior college.
• Bully Whips outfits include berets. +1  Additionally, it seems like Karofsky is starting to get a little nicer - I don't think it's all an act.  I'm hoping this is paving the way for him to come back to glee club because I liked him in the Thriller episode.
• Karofsky's dad called homosexuals "The Gays." +1
• "Somewhere Only We Know" sort of fit, but not nearly as well as the other songs this episode.  It was very well sung by the Warblers; however, I'm giving a -2 because Blaine randomly starts playing the piano.  He doesn't do a great job faking it and why is there a piano outside anyway?
• Is it bad that I agree with Quinn.  She was dealt a bad lot, was extremely unhappy so she did something about it.  Not gonna lie, I've been there so I see nothing wrong with what she did.  -1 to Glee writers for making it seem wrong to tweak your appearance.  It's only wrong if you're ugly on the inside.
• Overall, song choice gets a +1 for performance and relevance, but the mash-up of "Unpretty" and "I Feel Pretty" was particularly poignant and earned an additional +1.
• Best shirt: Puck's "I'm with Stupid [arrow pointing to penis]" +1

Total --> 7: This week's episode was the diva equivalent of Jessie J.  Sure, she's new to the scene, but her sound is unique and her songs' messages are usually uplifting, much like this episode.  

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 4/19/11 Episode

Glee was back from hiatus this week and I found it to be a little lackluster.  I'm keeping hope alive, though, as it looks like it's going to get much better as we approach Nationals.  For now, let's recap the highs and lows of this week's episode with our Diva-meter.

• The equation for taffy that Mr. Schuster writes on the board is wrong.  5,000 x .25 does NOT equal 20,000.  +1 because I caught that.
• +2 for the other categories in the Smarty Pants competition which include:
• Fat or Pregnant
• History of Shoehorns
• Famous Mervs
• Defunct Sodas
• Sue passes out beepers to her henchmen.  +1 because she must have worked very hard to find beepers.  I would have no idea where to look for that now completely irrelevant piece of technology.
• +1 for Sandy.  While he wasn't as amaaazing as usual, the Pink Dagger had a few good moments, such as his all pink outfit (including cape and hat with Pink Dagger logo) and the fact that he refers to himself as a "predatory gay."
• Why did Santana have to ruin a good ghetto, Lima Heights Adjacent moment (scaring Karofsky with the razors all up in her hair) with "It was more fun doing it together"?  Too cheesy. -1
• Mercedes demands were only ok and not overly creative...until she requested a fresh puppy to dry her hands. +1
• Was anyone else bothered by the fact that none of the artists were really neglected? -2

Total: 3 --> This episode was the diva equivalent of Julianne Hough.  Like our Glee club, she's trying to make it and is clearly talented, but what she's best known and loved for is her work of days past.  We're pulling for you.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 3/15/11 Episode

I was leery about an episode featuring original songs, but I was pleasantly surprised by last week's Regionals episode.  Let's see where it landed on the Diva-meter:

• Quinn got a great, self-absorbed monologue.  I've missed Queen Bee Quinn, the one who calls Rachel Ru Paul and Treasure Trail and those ramblings about prom queen reminded me how fun that girl was. +2
• I'm glad Kurt said what everyone else has been thinking about Blaine's many [albeit perfect] solos...but then when Kurt automatically gets to sing in the duet, don't you think all the Warblers were like WTF?!  They get a brief moment of "Finally - our turn!" only to have Blaine finish by saying he's not going to not sing, but he'll be so magnanimous as to let someone [of his choosing]  do it with him. -2
• Sue calls Brittany and Santana Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Fake Boobs.  +1 because Jabs at Santana's store-bought knockers never get old and I think they send a good message to teens.
• Gay kiss!  No points just because there's gay kissing, but they do get +1 because I think it was Kurt's first kiss.
• Brittany's favorite song is "My Headband". +1
• Sue throwing sticks at Mercedes and walking around with an armload of kindling is random and kinda awesome.  +1
• Quinn's speech to Rachel about she and Finn's future, depressing life is sad and realistic.  +2
• All the songs in this episode were pretty solid.  Somehow they managed to be all be plot relevant and anthemic (glad the writers didn't forget they had thrown that in there a few episodes ago).  "Loser Like Me" was a tad too High School Musical for my taste, but it worked. +2
• Not a fan of Kathy Griffin here.  Her acting is not great and they should have thought of much better lines for a Jesus freak than the ones they gave her.  (Remember the pageant queen from last year: "those deaf kids weren't singing they were just honking") -2
• The woman announcing the winners is wasted.  +1
• The New Directions' MVP Award is a gold star trophy.  That's kinda Rachel's thing.  +1

Total: 8 --> This episode is the diva-equivalent of J Lo.  You hear her name and you're pretty much like "Yup, she's a diva.  And I love it."

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 3/8/11 Episode

Gwyneth was back this week as was some great witty banter and a lot of gay revelations:

• Emma called a penis "the hose monster": +1
• The worst part of Gwynnie guest starring is that she sings every song.  -3 because although she can sorta carry a tune, her voice does not deserve to be singing nearly everything in the episode and because the songs were not the best matched for the episode.  (Sure they were all about touching, kissing, or afternoon delight-ing, but what song isn't?!)  
• Sue is picking up coffee because she likes her enimas piping hot.  Apparently she also uses the actual paper packets and two full bottles of simple syrup to sweeten her coffee.  That's raw diva behavior.  +1
• What about that Warblers song was anything sexier or different from the songs they normally perform?  Good song, but if the point was to diversify their repertoire, they failed.  -2  However, yay for Kurt getting to sing a line of a song and showing us his "sexy" faces! +1
• Zizes' sex tape/fragrance plan for fame is pretty much spot-on.  +1
• +1 for giving us a peek into Santana's bedroom which is all black and about as un-Rachel Berry-like as possible.
• +2 for Kurt's dad getting over the awkwardness, doing the necessary research, and having a frank, realistic conversation with Kurt about [gay] sex.
• During Emma and Carl's sex talk, Holly Holiday's look of disgust when she finds out they've been married for four months and never had sex is awesome.  Her logic is even better: "He's hot.  You're thirty."  The thirty comment earns it a +1.

Total: 3 --> This episode is the diva equivalent of Pink.  Even when you want to say you don't like her or her songs, you can't help but get into it.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 2/22/11 Episode

Aaaand it's back to back Gleecap time.  Last week's episode was phenomenal and after this week's diva-meter, you'll see why I feel that way:

• When Figgins calls Will into his office to tell him about the epidemic, Will is clearly distraught about what a lice outbreak would mean for his hair.  +2.
• I'm not feelin' Rachel's Little House on the Prairie outfit.  -1 because even though she always dresses a little funky, this is just one step too far.  
• +1 goes to Rachel's gay Dads (who I am DYING to meet, by the way) because they have an Oscar den, aka: every gay man's dream.
• The songs are irrelevant and I would normally penalize for that, but I'm willing to overlook it due to the entirely realistic portrayal of high school drinking.  It all reminded me of the scene at high school parties.  And college parties.  Who am I kidding, last weekend.  +6
• Wine coolers
• One girl (Santana) sitting on the sidelines during spin the bottle, yelling at the people playing
• Finn's rundown of the archetypes of drunk girls
• I thought Mr. Shu's drunk dial would end up going to Figgins.  Sue is a great 2nd choice, but I'm still giving it a -1.
• Great dancing during "Tik-Tok".  +1 because it was so good, I almost didn't mind that the song was interrupted by projectile vomit.
• Santana is too cool and way too ghetto to say "cool beans".  I don't care how great it is that Will offers to pick the students up if they falter on their no-alcohol pledge; people from Lima Heights Adjacent don't say "cool beans".  -1
• The hangover was accurate, but they left out the inevitable "ha ha remember when..." convos.  -1 because we all know the only reason to drink is so you can recap the events with your friends the next day.
• Is Rachel's wine bottle (of rose, might I add) bedazzled?  +2
• Kurt and Blaine are starting to spend a lot of time in the coffee house.  It deserves a name like Breadstix.  No points here or there, just an observation.
• Rachel wants to date Blaine so the two of them can have "vaguely Eurasian" babies.  +1

Total: 10 --> This episode is the diva equivalent of Rhianna.  Edgy (like the alcohol consumption in this episode) and catchy (like Rachel's new catch phrase, "it tastes like pink!").

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 2/15/11 Episode

I was sitting down to recap last week's Diva-meter when I realized I never recapped the episode from two week's ago.  How irresponsible of me!  Well then, let's get right down to it.

• The to-do list Rachel has posted in her locker includes the following (+4):
• Celine Dion's birthday
• Friend request Barbara Streisand.  Again.
• Anne Margaret in concert <3
• The first Bieber song ("Baby Baby Baby") was good...until Sam kinda ruined it with his dance moves.  -1
• When Rachel mentions Kurt and the Warblers, Sue gazes longingly and says "sweet Porcelain".  +1
• Puck's fake bangs in their Bieber band are not my fave.  -1 for making me imagine him without that sexy mohawk.
• They're singing a song from Rent! +1
• Last season, Quinn tells Finn she got pregnant because sperm swim faster in a hot tub.  Not sure how she didn't lose all credibility after that whopper, but somehow she still gets away with telling Sam she was saving Finn's life because he was choking on a gumball, not kissing him.  +1 because only a diva can make that believable.
• When Zises is picturing the crowd in their underwear, she sees Sue in a dominatrix outfit.  +2
• And in another +1 for Sue, I was loving that her plaid tracksuit in the My Chemical Romance number, "Sing".  
• When Rachel tries to convince the New Directions crew they need to write their own song to win regionals, she says it's to beat Kurt and Blaine's "one-two punch".  -2 because Kurt hasn't sung a single note since joining the Warblers and I kinda miss him.

Total: 6 --> This episode is the diva equivalent of Mandy Moore.  Not bad, but all that Bieber and the Zises solo (let's face it, she's freakin' awesome, but her voice doesn't match the others) was just too sticky sweet, like "Candy".

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 2/8/11 Episode

How excited was I that we got two brand new Glee episodes within three days?!  Not only did we get a bonus episode, last night's was a great, Divalicious one.

• Welcome back to the inner monologue: +1
• I like that we get to hear Blaine's beautiful voice whenever the Warblers sing, but we haven't heard Kurt's pipes in a long time: -1.  Don't silence that diva.
• I think it's nice and cute that Rachel has friends now and is having an adorable lil sleepover with Kurt and Mercedes, but in real life they wouldn't be braiding each others' hair, they would be sneaking vodka from their parents liquor cabinet and replacing it with water.  -1
• -1 for Quinn and Finn sort of getting back together.  Sam is much cuter and Finn shouldn't encourage cheating when it's been so damaging to his last two relationships.
• Other Asian's dance moves were pretty ridic this episode: +1
• Santana went to Jarod: +1.  Another +1  because she's from Lima Heights Adjacent.  And yet another +1 because she has plans to solve all her problems by marrying an NFL player like one of the Real Housewives of Atlanta.
• Lauren Zizes was into Puck because she thought he was mixed race: +1 because I think everyone has been wondering about his ethnicity since episode 1 and then realized they didn't care because he's such a hottie.
• +5 for overall amazingly relevant song choice.  I won't dissect them individually because they were all awesome.  I'm not a big Valentine's Day fan, but this episode kinda made me love the holiday.

Total: 8--> This episode is the diva equivalent of Jennifer Hudson.  Sure, some people forget about her sometimes, but every time she opens her mouth, you're astounded by how awesome she is.  Plus, with her astonishing weight loss, she's totally back on top, just like this episode of Glee put it back on the top of my must-watch list.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 2/6/11 Episode

I've been dying a slow death during the Glee hiatus, but thankfully our Gleeks have returned and I have been resuscitated.  Let's see how our lil divas have been doing.

• Coach Bieste is eating a whole rotisserie chicken for lunch in the teacher's lounge with Will: +3.
• While protesting having to join the Glee Club, one of the football players says he won't sing showtunes because it is the music of his oppressors.  -1 because I've never heard of Barbara Streisand or Liza Minelli referred to as tyrannical persecutors.
• Brittany is worried about being shot out of a canon: "I don't wanna die yet...at least not til One Tree Hill gets cancelled."  +1 for reminding us that this show still exists.
• And another +1 for Brittany's other zinger "how many Ms are there in the letter R?"
• The handwritten note from the canon along with Sue's canon fibromialgia story earns a +1.  
• Why do all the hockey players have mullets? -1 because this seems unlikely, especially because no one has ever mentioned a sport at McKinley other than football which they seem to play year-round.
• "Well Blaine loves football; I love scarves" +1 to Kurt for realizing that in every gay relationship one has to be the butch and the other has to be the bitch.
• Lauren Zizes was the state Grecco Roman wrestling champ.  +1 because I totally believe this is true.  
• +1 for Sue's Black Eyed Peas reference ("all boom boom no pow") was a nice reminder that this is the crazy Superbowl episode when the Peas were the actual Superbowl halftime show.
• Katie Couric's cameo gets a -1.  Sorry but it just wasn't as good as I thought it would be.  And why would Katie Couric be in Lima, Ohio?
• I hate to give this a +1, but I am impressed they didn't take the easy way out and make Karofsky suddenly part of their happy family.  In real life, one halftime performance wouldn't cure that closet case of his raging self-loathing, homophobic projections.
• Song recap:
• "Need You Now": +1 because Quinn & Puck/Quinn & Finn/Rachel & Finn all seem to know the relationships are not right, but they can't stop themselves from getting in their own way.  Plus, I love anything that features my fellow Georgians, Lady Antebellum.
• "She's Not There": +2 in large part due to the fact that the original song is by the Zombies but also because it was the perfect follow-up to Finn's convo with Quinn about her allegiance to Glee Club vs. Cheerios.  However, -1 for Mr. Shuster having to blatantly point out that it was by the Zombies so the viewers would get that it matched the episode's theme. Not that I knew it was by the Zombies, but I didn't appreciate that the writers assumed I wouldn't know.  I'm hurt, writers.
• "Bills Bills Bills": No points added or subtracted.  Though completely irrelevant, the song was perfectly performed and made me miss old school Destiny's Child.
• "Thriller"/"Heads Will Roll": +1 because somehow Thriller really does seem to bring people together.  Just watch 13 Going on 30 if you don't believe me.
• -1 for Emma's absence.  She should have been the one to come up with the idea of the football players and Glee kids coming together.

Total: 9 --> This episode is the diva equivalent of Christina Aguilera.  Not just any Christina Aguilera.  I'm specifically thinking of the Christina who sung the National Anthem at this year's Superbowl (XLV) that preceded this episode of Glee.  True, she flubbed a line (which is pretty shocking since even illegal immigrants know that song), but it's hard to deny that she's just crazy talented.  Similarly, our Glee buddies may have had a little slip up here or there (Katie Couric's appearence, Quinn kissing Finn...), but this episode reminded us that they are pretty awesome all the same.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 12/7/10 Episode

I was surprisingly very happy with this week's episode of Glee.  I thought a Christmas episode would be too cheesy for my taste, but it was all warm and fuzzy with some funky Glee-ness mixed in.

• The one rule for this episode was that every song had to be a Christmas song and somehow they made all of them seem plot-relevant.  I'm not sure how they managed to do that, but I think it's deserving of a +2.
• When Emma sits down with Will in the teachers' lounge, he's eating a cookie...again.  Why is he always bringing a small ziplock baggy of cookies from home?  -1 because it gives me the heebie jeebies for some reason.
• Other Asian's wish to Santa is for Channing Tatum to stop being in stuff.  +1 because I know this is a reference to Harry Shum Jr's role in Step Up 2: The Streets.
• Kurt: "I'm in love with him and he's actually gay.  I call that progress."  So do we, Porcelain.  +1 for your realization that straight guys are not the best object for your affections.  
• Sam worked so hard on that cord blood explanation.  I award it a +1 because it was just bizarre enough for me.
• When the Glee club girls are going to chop off their hair, Santana explains, "Oh it's cool, most of this isn't mine anyway." +1 for this reminder that Santana is the ghetto one of the group.
• Sue gives Mr. Shuster a razor - I think the ensuing hair joke was my own personal gift from Santa.  +2 
• Rachel seems way too into Christmas for someone who is always talking about how she's a Jew.  -1
• +1 for the Ricki Lake reference when Beiste is telling Brittany about a girl who put being husky to good use and why Santa can't help Artie walk.  I've missed Ricki.
• My only regret about this episode is that "All I Want for Christmas" wasn't used.  -1 (I would have subtracted more, but I'm hoping the only reason they didn't use it is because they're saving it for next year).

Total: 6--> This week's episode is the diva equivalent of the Jonas brothers.  Squeaky clean guys that everyone can agree are fun for the whole family.  Perhaps I awarded extra points because I was in the Christmas spirit and because I may have gotten a little choked up when I saw the Christmas miracle of Artie walking.  In the end though, I was happy with the episode and am now super sad we have to wait through a break before the second half of the season begins.  I suppose reruns will have to hold me over.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 11/30/10 Episode

Good songs!  Drama!  Last night's episode was everything we could have hoped for from our Glee divas.

• What Emma says to Will about how he runs glee club was everything every blogger has been writing for over a year. +1 because it seems like, finally, someone's been listening.  Perhaps the writers follow this blog?  Not likely, but a girl can dream.
• Santana dropped a huge bomb on Rachel by telling her she slept with Finn.  +1 because she called her Yentl when she did it.
• Although I just gave Santana a point, I would now like to deduct one some because now she's just being mean telling Rachel Finn brought her dinner and the whole situation in her face.  -1
• Rachel's Dads almost broke up over wallpaper.  +1 because for some reason of love any mention of Rachel's gay Dads.  Maybe one day - if we're lucky - we'll actually get to see them.
• +1 to Artie for knowing that the only way to deal with Brittany is the same way you would deal with a 5 year old.  Though, I'm pretty sure he got the idea from watching Big Daddy.  
• "Don't Cry for Me Argentina": Yes the song fit and the transition between Rachel and Kurt was great, but the real points are awarded to Blaine having to hold his hand down to keep it from rising to the the sky like a diva during Kurt's performance. +1
• Brittany has motocross practice: +1

Total: 5--> This episode is the diva equivalent of Tina Turner who can put on a fab performance, just like each of the performing choirs at sectionals.  Also, Tina went through some serious relationship dramz, much like most of the couples in this episode.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 11/23/10 Episode

Last week's Gwyneth Paltrow episode may not have been my fave, but I think the show was close to redeemed this week with the Glee Wedding.  The song's all fit with the plot and we got a few good one liners.  I just wish there was one additional song, but you can't win 'em all.  And now for the Diva-meter!

• Kurt [after Finn raises concerns that releasing 50 doves in the auditorium will be messy]: "That's why we feed them glitter, Finn."  +1 because that's problem solving at its best.
• One of Sue's interests on her e-dating profile is tantric yelling.  +1 for this new oxymoron.
• I didn't mention this in the last 2 recaps, but I am compelled to bring it up now.  It can not go unnoticed that Kurt has a picture of Blaine in his locker with a "courage" collage.  -2 because that's just weird and stalker-ish.
• I would have picked porcelain for my nickname, too.  +1.
• I started to get a little choked up when everyone is walking down the aisle. +1 for old people dancing.
• Is Artie waving a Ribbon Dancer?  +1
• Kurt should never have allowed his parents to give up all their savings and honeymoon money so he can go to Dalton Academy.  Though it's diva behavior, -2 because it's too selfish for my taste.

Total --> 0.  So this week's episode was just even in the diva department and I'm going to make it the diva equivalent of Alicia Keys.  She doesn't exhibit any absurd diva behavior, but you can't deny there's real talent there.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 11/16 Episode

So once again, I'm a week late in the recap department, but I think the Holidays make everything a little wacky.  Here we go:

• Holly Holiday?  The cheesiness of that name earns it a -1
• Sue wants to turn Will's hair into a full length shearling coat for only the most fashionable of premature babies.  +2 because it's so good to have the hair jokes back.
• I could not help but wonder how all the water was contained on the stage in the last number.  Not a terrible mashup, but those were some serious special effects for high schoolers so I give it a -1.
• Gwyneth's acting was good (sister's won an Oscar so I wasn't surprised that her portrayal of the wacky people-pleasing sub that every student loves was on the mark) but a singer she's not.  Though much better than anticipated, it was pretty clear she was only on the show to convince people she is a good enough singer to play one in a new movie that's "coincidentally" opening around now.  Throw her a bone with a song, not four of them.  I didn't hate her, but there's no way she can compete with the powerhouse guest stars of Glees past (i.e.: Kristen Chenowith). -1
• The rest of the songs were pretty irrelevant to the plot.  -1
• Brittany confuses M and N... +1 because I can see how that can happen.
• +1 for the name of Cameo, Gwyneth Paltrow's former problem student.
• Does anyone else think Kurt is going to fall in love with Blaine and get hurt/rejected?  No points, just thinking about it...

Total --> 0 making this the diva equivalent of...well...Gwyneth Paltrow.  Still a diva, but not the triple threat we have come to love on this show.  I know everyone loved Gwyneth and this episode in general, so my recap may be a bit of a disappointment, but I just didn't think (mostly due to song choice) that this was the best we've seen.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 11/9/10 Episode

Loved this episode.  I found the Rocky Horror episode a tad pointless, but it looks like they took a week off and came back with a great show.  Let's get right down to business:

• Quinn goes to Sue for advice?  -1 for two reasons: 1) Quinn would never trust Sue after getting kicked off of the Cheerios last year and 2) she was specifically looking for boy advice...not Sue's area of expertise
• Puck and Artie go on a double date at "The Stix" (aka Breadstix).  +1 because it reminds me of my high school days when we called our fave Mexican restaurant, Jalapeno's, by the endearing nickname "Jalops" (and yes, we actually pronounced the J).  *sigh* memories.
• Quinn argues that becoming Prom King and Queen will feel even better than "a little somethin' somethin".  -1 because I'm pretty sure every high school boy would disagree.
• Sue says the Glee kids sing about "that nonsense about how awesome it is to be alive or ugly or whatever the point is you guys are always trying to make".  +1 because...yea, that's pretty much spot on.
• -1 for Mr. Shue kissing Bieste.  She's talking about a kiss being the doorway to hope and a future and he plants one on her with absolutely no intention of following through.  Did he just give her false hope?  A pro-bono kiss is not the way to do your charity work...unless you're a prostitute.
• +1 to Kurt's reaction to the locker room kiss.  He didn't forget that the football player has been making his life hell for years just because he got his first kiss.
• Song review:
• "One Love": not bad, good harmonies, but not the most special performance of the episode.  No points added or subtracted.
• "Teenage Dream": Incredible.  +2 for the fact that it was a capella.  Not every glee club is magically followed everywhere by a full jazz band like our McKinley High friends.  An additional +1 because all those Dalton boys were impossibly good looking.
• Mashups: The girls' "Start Me Up/Livin on a Prayer" combo was better than their "Halo/Walkin on Sunshine" number from Season 1.  The girls rocked it.  They looked badass and sounded like it, too.  The guys did just as great with their "Stop! In the Name of Love/Free Your Mind" mashup.  +3 because both groups combined the songs perfectly and I simply can't choose which I liked better.

Total --> 6: This episode is the diva equivalent of Pat Benatar.  Not a diva in the traditional sense, but she can still do whatever she wants because she's a badass and that's kind of how I felt about all the songs in this episode.  True, "One Love" is not rock and roll, but Puck certainly is.  The all boys school then somehow managed to make glee the most badass group at school and everyone came together for some serious mashups.  Now that I've said the word badass way more than should be alotted to any recap, it's time for me to sign off!

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 10/26 Episode

Rocky Horror Picture Show is one of my favorite Halloween traditions.  Unfortunately, I don't think it made for the most diva of all Glee episodes, but there were still some great bits so let's get into this week's recap:

• Why is Mr. Shue always eating cookies he brought from home in the break room?  No grown man eats that many cookies out of ziplock baggies.  -1
• Brittany is going to be a peanut allergy for Halloween.  +1
• Mr. Shue already assumed Artie would play Dr. Scott because he's in a wheelchair.  +2 because he probably just made Artie feel really bad about himself but doesn't care - very diva of him.
• +1 because Finn didn't get Inception.  
• Sue's Corner is back!  +2  According to Sue, without fear children will try frenching grizzly bears and consider living in Florida.  Plus another +1 because Florida is just as heinous a place as Sue insinuates.
• Barry Bostwick and Meatloaf!  It wouldn't be Rocky Horror without them so +1.  However, -2 for not giving them anything to sing.  John Stamos' Hot Patootie was cute (he's come a long way since Jesse and the Rippers), but the Meat's original version was much more Rock and Roll. 
• +2 for the local news guys being most scared of Mexicans overrunning the town.  That probably would be an Ohioian's biggest fear.
• Overall song review: +1 They did a great job performing the songs (especially Finn in "Damnit Janet", Kurt and Quinn in "Time Warp", and Mercedes' re-invention of "Sweet Transvestite"), but for some reason I just wasn't blown away.  Perhaps it was because very little plot was advanced this episode and it seemed like they did it just so they could say they did a Rocky Horror episode.
• Why does Artie only use 2 lb weights?  -1 because his legs may not work, but that doesn't mean his arms have the strength of 7 year old girl.
• Why is it ok for half the cast of Rocky Horror to be teachers and people who don't even work at the school?  -2 

Total --> 5.This episode is the diva equivalent of Mandy Moore.  Back when she was singing "Candy" and trying to be all diva but was eclipsed by the other up-and-coming stars of the time.

Gleecap: Diva-meter - 10/12 Episode

So much going on this episode that I'm not quite sure where to begin.  Too many emotions - confusion (girl on girl), love (duet choices were fab), annoyance (Kurt really doesn't understand no means no) - still trying to sort through, so I'm going straight to the Diva-meter:

• I don't get it?  Why did they write off Puck for an episode?  Don't they realize staring at him is one of the biggest reasons I watch this show.  The new guy is cute, but Puck is...Puck.  -4
• We should play a drinking game for how many times they said Breadstix this episode.  +1 to me for coming up with this idea but -1 for not thinking of it while I was actually watching the show.  
• Lesbian action?  No plus or minus points here because I'm still not sure about how I feel about this scene.  I do, however, always love hearing Santana calling Mercedes Weezy so +1 to her.
• In the end, Rachel reaches out to Kurt which means she does something for someone else without any ulterior motive, even if it wasn't the thing she originally had in mind.  +1
• This episode was all about Other Asian, which earns it a +2
• Brittany wants to get Artie in a stroller: +1 because that broke new ground in the fetish category
• First Asian camp, now Asian couples therapy: +1
• Kurt: "I thought you said no one pushes the gays around?!" +1 because this could be the new "Nobody puts baby in a corner"
• Kurt's little jump on the piano when introducing his Victor/Victoria number was almost as good as his performance: +1
• The whole Santana adding an "s" to the end of words was cute when first introduced the Britney episode but is now old.  -2 because we get you're the ghetto one, stop forcing it down our throats.
• 
  

Total --> 6: This week's diva equivalent is Elton John.  Always a little wacky, but there's so much heart underneath all his songs and this super sweet, "aww" inducing episode was all about putting the heart back into the New Directions crew.